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Talk:Battleships/@comment-108.41.59.83-20160611233428/@comment-26880563-20160612030441
Onion armor is a common type of armor scheme used on battleships. Noting that the width of a ship often varies, onion armor creates several layers of armor that vary with the width of a ship, and still create decent protection all around, while maintaining a focus on protection on the middle of the ship. The layers are generally recognized as: Raw, Sweated, Translucent, Browned, and Caramelized. Any further layers tend to weigh the ship down too much, these are known as Overcooked and Burnt. The first step in creating onioned armor is to first go to your local ship parts store and buy several onions. Onions are available in Light, Medium, and Heavy varieties. Next, common hygiene must be taken into account, and for the sake of you, and anyone else you are serving, it is generally recommended to clean the pan with soap and warm water. Then, heat the pan to a moderate temperature, and add a mixture of sauces and seasonings. These may include vinegar, butter, spices, or broth, all of which will make your onions come out better. The most important thing to add before the onions is a choice of oil or fat, and a dash of salt. Following this, it is time to begin adding your onions. The onions must first be peeled, and cut into pieces that are around 1/2 of an inch in width. This size should prevent the onions from dring out too much, and also maintain level of cookedness throughout each piece. After adding the onions, cover the pan slightly, and stir frequently. This stage is known as sweating the onions, and the onions will appear to glisten with moisture. This is due to this stage drawing out water from inside the onions. You can stop here, and it is important to remember that sweated onions are never browned. The next stage is oftentimes referred to by the instruction, "cook until translucent", and this is basically a repeat of the previous stage, except the onions will lose more moisture and become somewhat translucent. Once again, the onions are NOT BROWNED!. However, if you continue to cook the onions, they will first begin to turn a soft golden color around the edges, and then take on a medium brown overall. This is the "browned" stage. Lastly, if you continue to 20-45 minutes after beginning to cook the onions, you will enter the caramelized stage. This is marked by the onions having a sweet caramel-like aroma and aside from being brown, completely limp. A brown glaze will form on the bottom of the pan, and, when water or wine is splashed onto the pan and mixed with the glaze, the resulting mixture will bubble very very furiously, and mix with the onions darkening the onion. Repeat to the desired darkness of onions. Once you believe your onions are done, take them out of the pan and serve them. However, if you continue to cook the onions, they will turn black and orange things will start bursting from them and by then it would probably be a good idea to throw a crap ton of baking soda (NOT WATER. NEVER USE WATER ON GREASE/COOKING FIRES) onto the pan. If that fails to work call 911 and run. Noting that by the time you begin to overcook the onions, they will be basically ruined, once they start turning black, you should throw them away and restart. Good luck, and if you understand the parallels I made, you have a functioning brain!